The Reminiscence of Roblam...

    Once upon a time, there was a fine institution called Roblam. What is Roblam you ask? Well it was set up specifically for patients hit by his unique ailment called Robisitus. It was an ailment unlike any other and reached pandemic levels only in December 2008 when this little indie flick called Twilight was released thus catapulting a young British actor by the name of Robert Thomas Pattinson to fame.  Someone with Robisitus is naturally afflicted with a severe case of adoring Robert Pattinson.

     Rob (as he is fondly known) turned out to be such an unassuming and self-deprecating young man who is wise beyond his tender years. His total unawareness of his appeal,  humility and apparent shyness at the adulation, endeared him to many of the female gender, regardless of age. It was soon apparent that this phenomenon would not go away and an institution was immediately set up to help those who were hit by this virus and thus Roblam was born with the assistance of those wonderful folks at Twilighters Anonymous.

     Roblam in itself was unique. There were no physical walls but the premises were huge with expansive gardens for patients to partake in the beautiful scenery and have a breath of fresh air; a lounge where patients would sit and chat about their common ailment; a fully-facilitated recreation room where patients underwent activities to help them with their addiction often led by the good doctor and assisted by the  Creative Director, Dutchess of Windmill; a multi-purpose room where yoga sessions take place (although such sessions have been known to take place in the gardens as well);  an auditorium where plays were held (the performance of Robin Hood was memorable) and large meetings called for all the patients to meet with the good doctor; and a very comfortable consultation room where the good doctor would consult with patients and discuss how they are coping with the addiction.

    The last activity was so coveted since a one-to-one session with the good doctor was highly popular, so much so, a schedule was soon needed to be drawn up. In view of the rising number of patients and activities, the good doctor was quick to seek out two of his patients who were not as severely afflicted with Robisitus and able to keep themselves under control (to a degree since they too required occasional consultation as well). Liaison Officers Maria and Noor was indispensable to the good doctor in managing schedules, organising activities and keeping the patients all in control.

     There was an instance when the good doctor was kidnapped and smothered with attention that he vowed never to let his guard down again and always ensured that the two LOs were aware of his every move when not in the general company of his patients.

     This is not to say that the good doctor did not adore his patients as much as they adore him. He was often seen spending a lot of his free time with the patients in various capacities or even going with them to dances (where he danced with each and every one of his patients) and going for a hike and eventually a mass picnic at the very picturesque Meadow.

     The good doctor was also such a good sport that he led the class in yoga sessions, organised the Kissing Booth to raise funds for his favourite charities and somehow managed to collaborate with a renowned geneticist to clone himself for a good cause. Such was his appeal and charisma, his beloved patients followed him everywhere and volunteered for everything!

      Aah yes.. how remiss of me not to elaborate on who the good doctor actually is. He is none other than Rob Pattinson himself or Dr P as he was affectionately referred to.

     In this very special place, the lines between reality and fantasy blurred out so much that he was the doctor whom administered advice and medication (the latter with the help of his LOs), the play director and actor (he played the lead character in Robin Hood which lead to a rush of ladies trying out costumes for the role of Maid Marion).

     He was the yoga instructor (though most often than not, the sessions did not manage to calm the patients but made them even more agitated); the master story teller that weaved wonderful and captivating tales (his reading of My Lost Youth - a remarkable fan fiction about the illustrious Cullens  written by our resident writer, Alex - brought tears to many, it was so beautiful); the beautiful vampire, Edward Cullen, who mesmerizes those he comes into contact with; and the list goes on. Most of all, he is just Dr P, always a kind word, always willing to listen, always available.

      Unfortunately Roblam was demolished on 28 May of this year due to overcapacity and structural defects and though a new wing was built in its place, the essence of Roblam was lost forever. Several of its patients have spoken about having a reunion and it was decided that La Cullen Cantante will host the first of such events. Though details are sketchy at this point, you are most welcome to watch this space for more information.